Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Lysdexia

Well, the cat's out of the bag. I'm dyslexic. I've known it since elementary school and I hate it. I've tried to keep it secret...well who wants to announce to the world or loved ones that they have a mental disorder? Nobody.

I've noticed it from time to time when a word I've written (or typed) that just didn't look right or someone has pointed it out to me. I've also noticed it when a word I've only read and written was spoken by someone else and I realized that for years I had a letter reversed.

Recent examples: I spelled Giuliani "Guiliani" for weeks on B4B before noticing my mistake when I did a web search. I promptly went back through the archives and corrected my many (and consistent) mistakes.

I also noticed it today after a commenter noticed my mistake in Terri Schaivo's [sic] Brother Joins Sam Brownback. I spelled Schiavo "Schaivo." Now that I look at it, I'm not sure which is right. That's the thing about dyslexia. It's like looking at words through a hall of mirrors. It's not an amusement park, not a funhouse; it's a frustrating puzzle that often doesn't seem to make any sense. I hate it.

It's incredibly embarrassing and humiliating. It makes you feel like you're stupid. But you're not. You simply, well, I simply have some sketchy connections in my brain that have nothing to do with intelligence.

One place you can find information about dyslexia is wikipedia.

I really encourage others with dyslexia to share their own stories in the comments. Use as much detail as you like. I plan on doing another more detailed post on "lysdexia" and my own experiences with it in the near future, should anyone be remotely interested.

Somehow I doubt it.

Update: Since dyslexia is a part of my life, and always will be, and is doubtlessly the part of many other people's lives, I have created a new experimental group blog to discuss the subject. If this concept is of interest to you, please check out Lysdexia and consider joining in a discussion. Thanks.

G-d bless you,
-- Psycheout

95 comments:

Anonymous said...

I very much understand...as you are prolly reading at the b4b site now. As far as ongoing experience with it....
AP Chem I had to have someone read me the problems when I noticed that it looked different the second time I looked.
AP English I had to pick through my writings many many times over before I could post anything (remembering that all my classes this past year except Math was online).
Math took me a long time to finish if it invloved things with long answers in number format (lots of decimals).
Conversation is difficult at times. If I get mixed up, it's hard to get back on track. I loose what I was going with. In addition, I have trouble seperating syllables and thus must be looking at someone to completely hear them...otherwise I can become somewhat ADD.
Point being, I definitely (a recently fixed word for me) understand, and at the same time know that God loves me for it. He gave me a brain with the capacity to overcome it. While some days the concentration is somewhat lacking it is frustrating, but in general, the other mental giftings granted me by God help me to the extreme.

It's nice having common ground. ...you and Lyssie are much more reasonable than the rest (Crockett, Marcia, TJ....). Even when we disagree and we're being sarcastic with each other.

Psycheout said...

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I was helping another child after school (at school) to study. Geoff. He was affected by dyslexia much more than I currently am. I didn't find out about my own dylexia (officially) until I was entering middle school.

I was going to a private Christian school when I was tutoring. It was a special time for me. I felt I was doing something important, as insignificant as it was.

I had another friend in 7th grade who was a bit of a sadistic bastard, torturing flies by poking staples through them and making elaborate chariots for them to pull. He always called his victim "Buzzer."

I was repulsed by this behavior, but it's not really that uncommon. We went to the same school for only one year.

I still remember how he signed my annual at the end of the year. He misspelled my name (reversing letters) and said he hoped we'd stay in touch. We did not.

I don't know why, but that still haunts me. Life is strange sometimes. A trial, really.

John, if you're still out there somewhere, I hope you are doing well.

Psycheout said...

You don't have to be anonymous here, unless you want to. But I know who you are.

Funny, I never had any problems with math, chemistry or physics in high school. But dyslexia affects different people in different ways.

But "definitely," heh, I always move my lips when I try to type it. Maybe everybody does. "Definately?" Hmmm.

Thanks for sharing. I hope it helps.

Anonymous said...

Lol, I didn't mean to be anonymous...I just clicked the thing that let me post without a username and password (I have one, but currently can't remember.) AP (college leveled class for high school students) Chem is mostly math...therefore, difficult to read the first time around...though not hard to comprehend. Yea, dyslexia is quite a random "bugger." My mom is more on words. Mine is spread out, but not severe (I've never had to have counseling for it). It's just annoying.

I've never had someone crush me by picking at my dyslexia (well, Crockett picked at it, but she doesn't offend me). I'm sorry someone did that to you, and I understand how things in childhood affect you later as they tend to linger. (Psychology is amazing. Do you like Psychology?) I have my own stories with that, but they aren't dyslexia related. Are there others of the sort for you?

As far as the one who did it to you, those kinds of people are everywhere...and I would like for you to understand that that behavior is not "liberal" or "democrat" or whatever else I have addressed at b4b pertaining to misconceptions, stereotypes and the such. That is someone being a jerk, and being a jerk comes from every group you could think of. ...Point being, I hope that events of the sort aren't the thigns that shape your view of the groups spoken of back on the other blogs. You seem to be a quite reasonable person...I don't mean to pick...but why all the harshness against the stereotypes? I don't understand. I know that your dyslexia blog may not be the right place for this, but I'm all for putting everything in one spot so that I don't lose it. :) I'm just curious (yet another recent word revelation). Are you willing to speak? (more dyslexia stuff included)

La Mona (since it shows up as anonymous)

Psycheout said...

You can click "Other" and fill in your name. You don't need a website.

If "Other" doesn't show up, let me know. It does for me.

I want everyone to comment here who wants to. Let's just say I have a very "liberal" comment policy.

Psycheout said...

Crockett probably didn't understand. Unless you experience some form of dyslexia you cannot possibly understand what it's like.

Don't you know that you can create your own blog on blogger for free?

Then you can post to your heart's content about dyslexia.

For the record, nobody crushed me or teased me over dyslexia, I did it myself.

I think I'll see if lysdexia.blogspot.com is taken.

Anonymous said...

I am so pleased to see that you have joined the blogging world, Psycheout. I will have Lynelle add a link to your blog as soon as possible. Your writing has always been thorough, enlightening, and sticks to the word of God.

I pray that the Liberal riff-raff doesn't find their way over here and cause a fuss like they have at mine. They can ruin a good topic like ants can ruin a picnic.

God bless you! I will be praying for the success of this new venture of yours.

La Mona said...

Hey Crockett. I'm glad to see that I am no longer "liberal riff- raff."

I have a username here...let's see if I can remember it... Otherwise, I have myspace and facebook. Though, you prolly can't find me under "La Mona."

I like your liberal comment policy. 'Tis very much fair.

I understand about crushing yourself as well. While I didn't do it with dyslexia per se, I have crushed myself with my conversational issues (some from that). In addition to the dyslexia, I think differently than most around me. ...Not exactly a different level rather than a different field as I have many friends with similiar mental capabilities. Sometimes I just give up on conversation because I feel as though no one is going to understand it. In sum--lots of verses on self-esteem.

In addition to perhaps helping work through the obviously related subject, I hope that people like Crockett will stick around. I hope she learns something. I really do. It'll be good for them.

Now let's see if I can find this blasted password....

La Mona

La Mona said...

I got it! Oh, and I found your e-mail as well.

Psycheout said...

Thanks, Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett. I don't really post here much though. I spend most of my time on Brownback evangelism over at B4B. I actually started this blog shortly after I started posting there, for overflow and so that I could post comments on other Blogger blogs that didn't allow anonymous commenting.

So there won't be much here. But from time to time I pop in if I have something to say that doesn't fit B4B or if I want to highlight a post there and not have it get lost in the day to day shuffle.

Thanks for the link.

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